Comparing oneself isn’t a new thing. People have been comparing themselves to others forever, so it feels. Recently, I find myself comparing myself to others more often that not. I suppose it isn’t uncommon, but it’s beginning to change how I feel about things.
This blog, for example.
I keep comparing myself to other bloggers. Their blogs seem better. They have so many more social media followers. They seem to make so much money online. They get collaborations and brand endorsements often. Suddenly, my little corner of the internet doesn’t seem so great. It feels, quite average.
But, why?
I put a lot of time and effort into this little blog of mine. I absolutely love it. I love thinking about posts to write. I love speaking to other bloggers about their work. I love connecting with readers. I started this blog back in 2014 to help people. That, in essence, hasn’t changed. I want to help people, to inspire people, to challenge ideals.
It also happens with Frugal Baby. Or rather, comparing milestones. Or things he should be doing by this stage. Is he saying enough? Should I have started potty training yet? [We have this one, but he won’t go anywhere near it!] Is he eating enough fruit and vegetables? Suddenly, comparing him to others makes me worry.
But, why?
He’s a beautiful boy. Inquisitive. Cheeky. Hilarious. A bad sleeper 😉 He says ‘gee gor’ for fire engine. He says ‘oh mo!’ instead of ‘oh no’. He calls me Mummy and Mr FC Dad. He loves anything with wheels. Car was one of his first words! He finds the most random things funny. He’s got this big belly laugh when something makes him laugh. He loves cheese, strawberries and grapes. You know what; to me he is perfect. Yes, if he slept 12 hours a night that would be great, but that will come. One of his favourite books is Daddy Lion’s Tea Party.
Comparing yourself to others, like I’m finding, can take away everything that is good. Everything that is going well or things that you shouldn’t be taking for granted, seem to disappear. Comparing yourself to others makes you begin to doubt yourself.
Am I doing enough?
The saying comparison is the thief of joy is absolutely right. Comparing yourself to others is never going to end well. Everyone, on the surface, can seem like everything is going perfectly. But, you never know what is going on behind closed doors. Also, people are at different stages of their journey. Some are just at the beginning. Some are somewhere in the middle. Some are nearing the end. All at different points and so doing different things.
Whatever you are doing is good enough. Whatever you are trying to achieve is good enough. Whatever works for you and your family is enough.
I need to remember this at times 🙂
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Agree completely, there’s a fine line between being inspired by others and slipping over into feeling negative because you feel you don’t measure up. Not sure exactly how to stay the right side of that line all of the time!
No, me neither!
Nicola your blog is great, and I just want you to know that I enjoy reading your posts. Although I don’t often comment, I read them all. As for your beautiful little boy, do not ever feel like there is anything “wrong”, all kids are different, of that I can assure you, as I have 5 🙂 None progressed at the same pace as the other, and potty training of boys is often more challenging than girls, of that I can attest too 😉 Yes, you are enough, more than enough, you are just fine.
Thank you for your lovely comment 🙂 I must admit, I am a little apprehensive about potty training, to say the least! I suppose it’s all part of the journey 😉
Couldn’t agree more with you Nicola.
There is often sneers in the playground at the parents who holiday three times a year, have two new cars and flashy wardrobes. While some are comparing and thinking they want more, I wonder if this family is actually racked up in consumer finance and struggling to make ends meet?
We all have our own budgets and, even if you earn more than someone else, that will sometimes mean that your outgoings are more. With a higher income, you find that people have bigger houses, so more goes on council tax and bills to keep the place ticking over. Straight off, that higher salary is already being used up.
I think higher salaries can definitely mean higher spending. I have yet to navigate the joys of the playground parents! I’m sure that’ll be fun… 🙂